2-2: “The New Girl – Part 2”

Back in September, I treated you all to a recap of the episode where we are finally introduced to our tough-talking, motorcycle-riding, fist-clenching, gender-nonconforming heroine, Jo. Then the sky fell and I dropped out of blog world for a while, so apparently I never told you what happened! Better late than never, they say, so I present to you the conclusion of THE EPISODE WHERE WE FINALLY GET JO.

When we last saw our friends from Eastland, they were getting arrested at the Chugalug bar after stealing the school van and getting it wrecked so they could drink underage and pick up dudes. The arrest wasn’t a foregone conclusion though, until 7th grade Tootie poured a pitcher of beer on a cop.

And now, the conclusion of “The New Girl.”

We open the show by finding out that the girls are now in actual lockup. There was a period of time when I seriously doubted this scene. I didn’t think they’d put girls as young as Tootie with girls as old as Blair and Jo, and I didn’t think they’d put any juveniles in a lockup that looks like this. But now that I have spent time interviewing detainees in Cook County’s juvie lockup, I have to give the show points for accuracy. Except maybe the room is a little big.

The girls lament over how their futures will be ruined. Natalie fears that her mother is going to have a heart attack, Tootie expects to be disowned, and Blair is convinced that they’ll never let her set foot in Martha’s Vineyard again. Jo, on the other hand, is cool as a cucumber. This ain’t her first rodeo.

The girls soon get a tough new roomie, who scares the pants off Tootie and Natalie (not literally) and steals Blair’s (surely very expensive) watch. Jo comes to the rescue, getting the watch back through intimidation. I told you this ain’t her first rodeo.

Our Tough Girl tries to save face by telling Blair it ain’t worth it for “this junk,” at which point Blair, in all her brilliance, indignantly announces that the watch cost five hundred dollars (and remember this is 1980). Even Natalie and Tootie know what a stupid thing that was to do, and they’re not even in high school yet.

But Jo continues to have Blair’s back. My my, are we starting to get signs that these enemies might find some common ground after all?

Mrs. Garrett shows up to get the girls out, and they get out much quicker than would actually happen in the real world. Only a few minutes have passed since Tootie said they’ve only been in lockup for 45 minutes, so apparently they were booked, processed, locked up, and released in less than an hour. Riiiiiiiiiight.

In any event, we learn that they got out because the headmaster, Mr. Harris, plays golf with a judge. I wonder what happened to Mr. Bradley? And when did Mr. Parker show up? I smell a new project: Eastland headmaster timeline. Watch this space.

In the lobby of the station, we learn that the judge put all four girls on probation (I would have expected them to be arraigned and enter a plea first, but what do I know? I’m just a third-year law student). More importantly, they were all expelled from Eastland.

Blair asks if they’ll get a chance to appeal, and Mrs. Garrett tells them that she’s already negotiated a way for them to stay: they have to move into the room above the cafeteria across the hall from Mrs. Garrett, and work in the cafeteria to pay off the damage to the van. Mrs. Garrett will have complete responsibility for them. Blair says her mother will pay for the van, but Mrs. Garrett has already spoken to her mother. She’s spoken to all of their parents and everyone is on board with the conditions.

Blair, Tootie, and Natalie are eager to do whatever it takes to stay at Eastland, but Jo pushes back. She says she didn’t come to Eastland to be a dishwasher, and Mrs. Garrett replies that she didn’t come to Eastland to hotwire cars and make fake IDs either. Burn. She reminds Jo that she’s free to go home now if she wants, but no, in the most belligerent way possible, Jo says she thinks she’ll stay.

They return to the cafeteria  and Mrs. Garrett introduces Howard, the chef, to his new help, who are thrilled.

I’ve just noticed that Mrs. Garrett is really thin at this point. In the first season she was a size 14 and concerned about losing weight. Apparently she did.

Anyway, Chef Howard makes a “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” joke, which gets a collective groan from the studio audience, an eye roll from all the characters, and a “male chauvinist pig” label from Natalie. You go girl.

A gratuitous 80s hunk walks in looking to apply for the kitchen job, which Howard informs him has been filled. The girls protest that they’d love to share the work with the hunk (Blair: “He’ll wash and we’ll watch.”), but nothing doing. The girls are neck deep in the kitchen. Otherwise we wouldn’t have a show.

Mrs. Garrett shows the girls to their new room. It needs some work.

After assuring them that it’s not a joke, Mrs. Garrett optimistically tells them that once they clean it up and move the furniture in it will be lovely. The girls gripe about the size, about having to share a room with three other girls, about having to share the bathroom among five people (Blair: “I’m not like the other girls. I don’t have the advantages of being poor!”). Mrs. Garrett reminds them that their other choice is to consider themselves expelled, and that she’s making sacrifices and putting herself on the line for them, and if they’re as appreciative as they say they are they need to make it work themselves because she’s done helping them. Day-um. That was heavy.

After saying “good night,” Mrs. Garrett leaves the girls alone in the room, at which point Blair unloads on Jo. She (not incorrectly) points out that since Jo showed up they’ve “been thrown in jail, put on probation, assigned to hard labor, and stuck in this room.” Natalie and Tootie are none too pleased about the situation either. It does kind of suck for all of them, but it’s not like Jo put guns to their heads. Mrs. Garrett hears the bickering from the hall and prays for a long running series a blessed home.

The girls are exhausted returning from their first KP. OK, that might be a bit much. I mean, I’m sure washing dishes for an entire boarding school is no picnic, but it’s not exactly serious physical exertion, It’s a wonder they make it up the stairs.

They whinge a bit about how exhausted they are (Blair: “Every bone in my body hurts.”). Jo says she’s bailing out as soon as she gets her bike fixed. She’s going back to New York where her boyfriend is. She doesn’t mention his name (maybe he didn’t have one yet when they filmed this, but in five episodes we learn that it’s “Eddie”), and we never see his face in the photo she’s got next to her bed (maybe they hadn’t cast him yet, but it’s a dude named Clark Brandon who is now the dean of students at a prep school in California. Oh my God. I might go stalk him). [Author’s note: I did stalk him, and he was very gracious.]

Anyway, Jo goes on about how great her boyfriend is and how much in love they are. She says her mom sent her there to “San Quentin” to split them up. Oh and this Love For The Ages relationship that has our tough girl all googly-eyed? Has been going on for three and a half weeks.

Blair interrupts Jo’s starry-eyed reminiscence and points out that she’s not as tough as she claims to be, and Jo responds with threats. Her complaint about how Blair is leaving her crap on Jo’s side of the room leads to yet another yell-fest. Mrs. Garrett intervenes. Jo complains about Blair’s beauty products, and Blair complains about Jo’s motorcycle parts. Mrs. Garrett orders them to get along.

We cut to the cafeteria, where the girls are serving lunch to their peers. We go through a fat joke and a race joke and Molly Ringwald makes a cameo!

But the focus of this scene is a real Mean Girl named Margo, who started talking smack the second she walked into the cafeteria. After Mrs. Garrett instructs Blair and Jo to start clearing the tables, Mean Girl calls Jo “Waitress” and tells her to take her dish and her silverware. She keeps picking at Jo, asking her if she does “private parties” and commenting that she’s not surprised Jo is such a good waitress, since that’s what her mother’s been all her life. Jo starts to respond with violence, but Blair holds her back, saying that she shouldn’t sink to her level and that the situation should be handled with the grace and dignity befitting Eastland. Then she does this:

You see what they did there? Jo had Blair’s back in her familiar surroundings – lockup – and Blair had Jo’s back in her familiar surroundings – Eastland! They have a future after all!

Everyone, including Mrs. Garrett, laughs at pie-faced Mean Margo. But Jo is still a bit rough around the edges. We cut to Blair coming back to the room, where Jo is packing her belongings in a brown duffel bag. Eastland bugs her, and she wants to get out. Her bike is still dismantled so she plans to hitchhike to New York. Blair is hurt. She thought the cafeteria incident with Margo made them a team. Jo isn’t interested. She takes care of herself and that’s it. Mrs. Garrett joins the conversation and reminds Jo that her mother hasn’t had the easiest time of it, what with her divorce and being a single mom and working at a job she doesn’t like so she can give Jo the best. Mrs. Garrett points out that Jo’s mom isn’t a quitter. Damn, she’s good.

After accusing Mrs. Garrett of trying to guilt her (which Mrs. Garrett readily admits), Jo says that she’ll stay, but only because she doesn’t want to let her mother down. Mrs. Garrett gives Jo a kiss on the cheek, and awesomely, she has a lipstick mark on her cheek in the next shot.

Natalie and Tootie return, Blair and Jo share a moment before Blair makes a joke about how she doesn’t know whether Jo staying is the good news or the bad news, we get the shot that will be at the end of the opening credits for at least two seasons, and the show cements the cast it will have for the next six years.