8-12 “Seven Little Indians” (part 1 of 2)

I could have sworn that this was a Halloween episode, but it seems to have aired in January of 1987. It certainly fits the spirit, what with the spookiness and the deaths and all.

It’s odd that “The Halloween Show” is the only Halloween seasonal they ever did. In season six they had an episode air on Halloween, and it was the “Cruisin'” episode, which is awesome, but not Halloweeny at all. Maybe “Seven Little Indians” was supposed to be a Halloween episode, but they didn’t conceive it until too late in season eight and they couldn’t guarantee they’d have another season.

But we open very Halloweeny, with audible rain and thunder, the house dark, and Beverly Ann, who has replaced Mrs. Garrett, sleeping in a chair in front of the fire.

Upon waking up to a thunderclap and a nightmare about her ex-husband, Beverly Ann is concerned because the girls aren’t home from the movies yet, so she calls their friend George (Clooney, that is) to drive to the theater to see if they’re OK. She hangs up the phone and retreats to the kitchen, and we are introduced to our proof that this is a Halloween episode mysterious guest

He asks us whether and when we know what is real. Beverly Ann was dreaming, but is she really awake? Regardless, one thing that is certain is that five important people are missing: Andy, Jo, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie.

Tootie.

He likes saying “Tootie.”

We leave the mysterious stranger and return to the front door, where the girls and Andy have just returned from the movie, from which emotional Tootie is still petrified. Beverly Ann is glad to see them, and the girls explain that the reason they were late is that the streets were flooded and it took forever to find someone to carry Blair to the car. The movie they saw?

“The Halloween Hacker 3: Part 6: Dave Returns…Again.”

See, it’s totally a Halloween episode. Natalie laughs at the ridiculousness of a horror franchise, while Tootie, still terrified, seeks solace in Beverly Ann’s arms.

I don’t think Natalie and Blair approve.

Andy, on the other hand, loved the gore. When Beverly Ann asks what the story was about, Jo clarifies that the story is that Dave goes out and kills people. Beverly Ann worries that Andy will not be able to sleep a wink tonight.

Teenage boys, amirite? Beverly Ann suggests cocoa to help the girls sleep, but Tootie resists. She says she doesn’t plan to sleep again the rest of her natural life. We cut to the girls’ room, where Blair and Jo slumber peacefully.

This is after the girls renovate their room so there’s only two in each room, but Tootie has come to sleep in Blair and Jo’s room. I really appreciate the character consistency throughout the series. It’s always there, but it really comes up at times like this when I recap spooky episodes back to back. Tootie is the one who is emotional and afraid of silly stuff; Natalie thinks it’s all a big joke; Jo is perpetually skeptically annoyed until she can’t deny it anymore, and Blair…well, I think Blair just cares how she looks. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Suddenly there is a scream, causing Natalie to rush into Blair and Jo’s room as well. Tootie hides under her covers and Natalie and Blair huddle together, while Jo wants to go check it out. Natch.

efore Jo can get out the door however, it dramatically swings open.

Beverly Ann: “It’s Andy! He’s d-d-d-d-d-d-“
Natalie: “Stuttering?”

No, apparently Andy is DEAD. We cut to the shop where his galoshes stick out from behind the counter. How did it happen?

Beverly Ann: “He must’ve come in here to blow up the inflatable moose.”
Natalie: “And somehow the antlers punctured the plastic containers.”
Jo: “Spilling the horseradish.”
Natalie: “Causing him to slip on the jelly beans.”
Tootie: “When he opened his mouth to say ‘ouch’…”
Jo: “That’s when the rubber cement fell in and finished him off.”

Of course. What did you think had happened?

Our mysterious Rod Serling stand-in shows up just to say “Tootie.” Beverly Ann comments what a unique accident it was. “Accident?” Natalie wonders, “Or murder?”

Murder?

Natalie, always looking for a scoop (or creating one – hmmm…) suggests that Tootie really did hear noises in the bedroom when everyone else thought she was just being paranoid, and there was a killer outside who saw Andy, and came inside to kill him.

Dun dun dun!

Beverly Ann picks up the phone to call the police, but the phone is dead! Was it the storm? Or did someone cut the line?

The way Natalie sees it, there are two possibilities: there’s a madman on the loose or…

…Beverly Ann murdered Andy!<

Ever-skeptical Jo thinks that’s silly. Beverly Ann would have had to go outside in the rain to cut the line, and there’s no evidence that she did that.

Gasp! How did that happen? At this point I went back to see if she was wearing galoshes during the whole scene, or if they just appeared. Turns out she was wearing them the whole time. And I didn’t even notice. Even though I knew what was going to happen. Well played, show.

Beverly Ann insists that she only put on the galoshes because she was going to take Andy home. The girls are not convinced, when suddenly they hear footsteps outside. Tootie is so overcome with joy that Beverly Ann is not the killer that she forgets a killer outside is no better. They shiver and shake, and Tootie gets in a “We are in trou-ble!” Jo refuses to go down without a fight, and she grabs a lamp as the door swings open.

It’s just George Clooney in a rain slicker. I always wanted a yellow rain slicker like that and I never got one. I’m perfectly happy now with my practical and efficient black Columbia raincoat, but I really wanted one of those yellow things as a kid.

It turns out that since George didn’t find the girls at the movies, he came to the shop/house to see if they got home all right. They confirm that everyone is fine, except poor d-d-d-d-d Andy. They tell him the phone is dead and they need him to get the police, but when Natalie tells him to tell the police that it could be murder, he offers to check the place out before leaving. Beverly Ann appreciates it, and she tells him to take this – just in case.

I totally had one of those inflatable palm trees in the upper right-hand corner of the screen shot. That was back when I thought there was no place I’d rather live than the beach. I hadn’t found the mountains yet.

George clomps upstairs and starts yelling, “Yo, is anybody there?” Jo mocks George’s methods of flushing out a killer until George starts screaming. “No, no! Not that!” he yells, but it turns out he’s joking. He messes with them a little more before leaving to get the police.

Jo suggests that since George checked out the place and no one was there, that they lock everything up tight so no one else can get in. They separate, with Beverly Ann going to the kitchen, Jo going to the storeroom, Blair going to the shop, and Natalie going upstairs with Tootie hot on her heels ’cause she ain’t going nowhere alone.

The living room is empty when George comes back in – the goof forgot his keys. Then he begins talking. To us? “Hi,” he says, “Stupid me, I forgot my keys.” Then his demeanor turns different. He asks whomever he is talking to what they are doing. Finally he gets it.

“You’re going to murder me, aren’t you. I can tell by the weird music.”

He yells a few feeble “No!”s before emitting the manly scream that surely signifies his death, as we fade to break.

Who is responsible for Andy’s d-d-d-d-death? Who was in the living room when George came back? Is any of this real? Do you, too, like saying “Tootie”? Or “galoshes”?

Tune in tomorrow for the Halloween conclusion of “Seven Little Indians”!