4-2 “The Source”

Sometimes when I recap an episode that I remember being good, it ends up being even better than I remembered. This is one such episode.

The year is 1982, and the topic is abortion. The episode makes a quiet but profound statement about taking care of our sisters. I bet there was controversy about this episode even airing. Maybe it had a warning before it aired. And I’m sure they were instructed to take no position on the topic, but in the end, Natalie’s actions speak louder than anything. The episode doesn’t say anything about right or wrong or why or who was asked. Natalie concludes that it was no one else’s damn business.

My only critique of this episode is that it would have been so much cooler if, instead of being a one-shot character, the girl who’d had the abortion had been one of the girls from season 1. Anyway.

Rewind to the beginning. In the kitchen, Blair mocks Tootie’s rock n roll fanzines while Jo mocks Blair’s celebrity gossip magazines, and we get a rare shot of consummate professional Kim Fields almost losing it.

Enter Natalie, who gripes that she was hoping to increase the Eastlander‘s readership by bringing more hard-hitting stories to it. In particular, she wanted to handle “this really big issue.”

Tootie: “Like cheating?”
Natalie: “Too old-fashioned.”
Jo: “Drugs?”
Natalie: “Too cliche.”
Blair: “V.D.?“

Blair: “Valentine’s Day!”

Turns out Natalie was planning to write about abortion. Mrs. G thinks it might be a bit much for a high school paper, and Blair calls it “touchy.” My awesome Natalie says that it’s an important issue that needs to be discussed. Right on, sister.

Unfortunately, the article is stalled because Natalie can’t find a good source. She’s called every clinic, hospital, and doctor’s office in the area, and all they could provide her was “dry statistics.” This is pre-HIPAA, so these places were protecting their clients’ confidentiality of their own accord. Rock on. But Natalie had been hoping for a personal story; someone through whose eyes she could tell the story.

Tootie says that what Natalie needs is a “Louise.” Natalie thinks Tootie knows someone she can talk to.

No, Tootie’s Louise was her imaginary friend. Natalie’s initial disappointment gives way to inspiration as she realizes that she can write her story about “Louise,” whom she’ll make a composite of all the statistical information she was able to get from the providers. Tootie protests about the sketchy nature of this endeavor, but Natalie’s engines have started roaring and her justification game is on point. Tootie judges.

Y’know, for her (well-deserved) reputation as a gossip, Tootie has often done a hell of a job keeping a secret. Tootie’s original “clam up for a good cause” moment was in season 1 when Blair plagiarized Emily Dickinson. That one is on my short list to recap.

Fast forward to the day of the paper’s release. The cafeteria is abuzz with praise for Natalie’s story. Eastland girls describe it as (cue movie trailer voiceover guy) “powerful,” “warm, yet objective,” and “the most moving thing since Bambi!” Terry, whom we met in season 2 when Tootie had her identity crisis, wonders if they’ll make a movie about it.

That it actually happened to a real girl at Eastland astonishes Blair.

The girls praise Natalie for the personal nature of the article, and try to dig for information on “Louise’s” identity. Natalie protects her secret by saying that she has to protect her source.

Mrs. Garrett enters, obviously distressed. She frets and hems and agonizes before Natalie finally drags out the bad news: Natalie has twenty-four hours to divulge “Louise’s” identity, or be expelled.

Back from commercial, Natalie, with Mrs. G backing her up (you go, ladies), argues with the headmaster, Mr. Parker. She pleads journalistic ethics, he pleads angry parents. The argument goes nowhere, and Mr. Parker stalks out. Mrs. G follows, promising to talk to him.

Enter Jo, Blair, and Tootie, with Jo in the lead barking that they won’t let Mr. Parker infringe on Natalie’s First Amendment rights. I love you Jo, and I love you even more, my dear, amazing Natalie, and I’m so sorry to have to tell you this: you probably don’t have a leg to stand on. Even though New York does have a law protecting journalists from revealing their sources, it isn’t absolute, and in the context of a minor writing in a school publication, you’re most likely screwed. I would love to make the argument, but the precedent gives schools in general and private schools in particular wide latitude to restrict students’ speech. Google “bong hits for Jesus.”

Blair thinks Natalie should just cough up the name, while Tootie is only worried about Natalie getting expelled. Jo is of a mind with me that getting kicked out of school for this could make Natalie a celebrity. It’s pretty much my dream to become famous for standing up for a principle. Well, my second dream, I guess. My first is to become famous as the author of Cousin Geri.

Jo and Blair hurry out of the room, Blair to call her mother’s friend who’s a judge, and Jo to call Geraldo. Heh. Al Capone’s vaults.

Natalie and Tootie, alone in the lounge, argue about the right thing to do. It’s clear to Tootie that Natalie should come clean. Natalie would rather leave school than admit she made it up.

Indeed, our next scene begins in the bedroom, where Natalie packs. Tootie protests that she can’t let it go this far, but Natalie is determined. The door opens.

What’s this? A girl we’ve never seen before? Her name is Annie. What does Annie have to do with any of this?

She tells Natalie congratulations on her article, and says that it was well-written. Tootie gets disgusted and stalks out of the room.

Alone with Natalie, Annie heaps praise on her. She comments how noble it is for Natalie to give up everything for a principle, which prompts Natalie to second-guess her course of action.

Annie: “Come on Natalie, don’t crumble. I’m counting on you!”

Eh?

Annie: “How did you find out, Natalie? There were things in that article that I didn’t think anybody knew about!”

PLOT TWIST!

Natalie assures Annie that no one at school knows, and truthfully says that she didn’t mean to make trouble for her. Annie can’t bear the thought of her parents finding out. She pleads with Natalie to keep her secret.

Well now there’s a whole new dilemma! Fortunately there is enough time left for a Mrs. Garrett shoulder pat and a little bit of kick-ass sisterhood.

But first, please enjoy a brief comic-relief interlude from Blair, still dying to know who “Louise” is just for the gossip value; and Jo, who continues to pursue Geraldo Rivera. Thank you. Now back to your program.

Natalie and Mrs. G remain alone in the cafeteria.

Natalie: “I have a decision to make.” [Mrs. G nods sympathetically] “But it’s not quite the decision I thought it was going to be.”

Mrs. Garrett says that she spoke to Mr. Parker but had no luck; he demands to know the name of the girl in her article.

“Mrs. Garrett, there is no girl in my article! I made her up!”

A couple of “how could you”s and “do you know what you’ve done”s later, Mrs. G says that Natalie will just have to tell Mr. Parker that there is no Louise.

“I would, except there is a Louise.”

After Natalie explains that she learned another Eastland girl mistook the story for her own, she muses that now that she has a name, she can get herself off the hook. Mrs. Garrett does not ask Natalie who the girl is. Instead, she Mrs. Garretts that she published a story known to be made-up, and the fact that it bore any resemblance to the real experience of anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Enter Mr. Parker. He he’s been doing a lot of thinking and he wants to make a few things clear. Natalie protests that she thought she had twenty-four hours, and Mrs. Garrett mama bears in her defense.

Mr. Parker makes a gunfight at the O.K. Corral joke and says that he’s reconsidered the suspension.

Mr. Parker’s wife convinced him that it would be shitty to suspend Natalie over a matter of principle like this (not his exact words), so even though he’d hoped she’d cooperate, she’s now off the hook.

The bad news is that now Mr. Parker vows to find out who “Louise” is without Natalie’s help.

And then Natalie shows why she ends up my favorite character by throwing in hardcore with the sisterhood. She confesses that she made up “Louise.” As punishment, she has to resign as editor of the school paper.

Mr. Parker: “D’you wanna know something? In the back of my mind, I suspected something like this. Call it a feeling, or a sixth sense, but I know this school. And I know these girls. And something like this could never happen here.”