Most of my posts are written assuming that my readers’ recall of the show is as sharp as mine. I assume you know the general setting, the personalities of the main characters, and the general progress of the show from season one’s giant cast through Edna’s Edibles and Over Our Heads. You know which of Blair and Jo to ask for a loan and which of Natalie and Tootie to ask to proof your grant proposal.

Don’t you?

One friend of mine didn’t think she remembered it, and then she did when she heard the theme song. She’s been reading me every now and then since, and her experience has reminded me that I shouldn’t expect everyone who might be interested to know the whole background.

So. Let us begin with the basics…

Theme

The Facts of Life is about relationships between and among girls and women who currently attend or have attended the Eastland School, a fictional boarding school in Peekskill, New York for girls in junior high and high school.

Peekskill has a brewery that I just learned about but which I promise you I will visit and write about. A friend of mine married a dude from Peekskill and I fangirled about that very fact.

Setting

Seasons one through four take place primarily at Eastland. Near Eastland, also in Peekskill, is Bates Academy, where most of the boys that show up come from. In season one, the primary setting is the residence hall in which the girls live, whose exterior is a  Pomona College dorm in LA. In seasons two through four, the primary setting is the cafeteria and the room upstairs, where the girls had to work and live after they seriously screwed up in the beginning of season 2.

Seasons five and six primarily take place at Edna’s Edibles, the bakery and bistro that Mrs. Garrett leaves Eastland to open. The girls work in the store, and live in the attached house along with Mrs. Garrett. There are also many scenes and episodes at Langley, a fictional college in Peekskill.

The first couple of episodes of season seven deal with the fact that SPOILER! Edna’s Edibles has burned down. The girls and Mrs. Garrett decide to partner to open a new novelty store, which they name Over Our Heads. The store and the attached house remain the setting for the rest of the series.

Characters

Tootie Ramsey

(Entire series)

Tootie Ramsey, played by Kim Fields, the only character in every single episode. She is African-American, and she is the only cast regular of color. She is originally from Washington, D.C., and has been attending Eastland since sixth grade. Both of her parents are lawyers, but she has a flair for theater and she hopes to be a professional actress. She is best friends with Natalie.

Natalie Green

(Entire series minus season seven’s “The Lady Who Came to Dinner”)

The episode for which Natalie was away was a mediocre episode in which the crew throws a birthday party for Blair and their entertainment ends up moving in with them for a while. Despite the less-than-stellar plot, it’s a bit of a shame that she’s missing from that episode, as Natalie’s comedy stylings might have played well against the guest star.

Mindy Cohn, who played Natalie Green, was not an actress before she was cast on The Facts of Life. She was a regular middle school student at Westlake School in California when Charlotte Rae, who played Mrs. Garrett (see below), went there to research her part for the show. Apparently she and all her supporting crew loved Mindy so much, they cast her then and there.

Natalie’s parents, Evy and Dr. Green, adopted her when she was a baby. Her father is a doctor and her mother’s occupation is never mentioned. She was heavier than the other girls for the first few seasons, and although that fact is not made much of in the series, it was noted among the fans.

Natalie’s talent is writing. She’s editor of the school paper at Eastland and she continues to pursue a career in journalism for the entirety of the series. Her other known characteristic is being damn hilarious.

Blair Warner

(Entire series minus season nine episode “The First Time”)

The actress who played Blair Warner, Lisa Whelchel (two ‘h’s) is very very Christian, and she refused to be in the episode that involved premarital sex. The powers that be wanted Blair to be the one who lost her virginity, but Lisa said hells no. She was on Season 25 of Survivor (yes, it’s still on, and I still watch it even when Blair isn’t on it), and she finished second, so don’t F with her.

Blair is the beautiful, spoiled, rich girl. She’s the privileged princess of Warner Industries, a giant business enterprise. She gets everything she wants, when she wants it, and knows pretty much nothing about growing through her own effort (SPOILER: she learns).

Her father, David, is the CEO of the business I guess – it’s a long-term old money family business that I don’t understand, but dad is under investigation at least twice for shady practices. Blair is torn between the world she knows and is comfortable with and the things she learns that cause her to question what she has come to take for granted. Blair’s mother, Monica, has been married and divorced at three times. Blair and Monica are close. Both enjoy shopping and primping and expensive clothes, jewelry, and meals. Deep down though, both have a heart of gold.

Jo Polniaczek

(Seasons 2-9)

Jo Polniaczek is the super-smart tough Polish girl from the Bronx, who has a scholarship to Eastland but retains her rebellious roots. She likes sports and motorcycles, and she is an excellent mechanic. Lots of people liked to assume that she was gay. She inspired me and a lot of other people who may or may not be gender-stereotype conforming.

Jo’s mother is a cocktail waitress and her father has spent time in prison. She was introduced in season two as a foil for Blair, and their rivalry continues throughout the series even as they become best friends. Generally, Jo represents the working class in contrast to white-collar Eastland and Blair in particular.

Edna Garrett

(Seasons 1-7)

Oh, Mrs. Garrett, a woman of wisdom and mother figure to our heroines. She was originally the housekeeper for the Drummonds on Diff’rent Strokes, while Kimberly attended Eastland. In season one, she was the house mother for the dorm in which the girls lived. At the beginning of season 2, she’d been promoted to school dietitian, and she became the girls’ supervisor when they got busted for doing really stupid shit.

Mrs. Garrett, originally from Appleton, Wisconsin, is divorced, and she has two sons, who provide varying levels of conflict throughout the series. She dates regularly and she’s sometimes concerned with her weight. Her trademark phrase, “Girls! Girls!” has been parodied on Family Guy. Most of all, though, she cares about the girls like they’re her own daughters. Really, all things considered, she’s spent way more time with these girls than any of their parents have.

Beverly Ann Stickle

(Seasons 8-9)

When Mrs. Garrett left (to get married and run off to Africa), her sister, Beverly Ann Stickle, came to live with the girls (when they were all probably old enough to be living on their own, but who’s counting?). She’s a quirky goofball (what typecasting?), who struggles early on to be accepted by the girls. Ultimately, she becomes almost as beloved as the revered Mrs. G.

Cousin Geri

(Recurring seasons 2-9)

Cousin Geri – Geri Jewell in real life and Geri Tyler on the show – is one of the earliest and most visible characters with a disability on television. Geri, Blair’s cousin, is a stand-up comedian with cerebral palsy, pre-dating Josh Blue by over two decades. She is a little less than ten years older than Blair, but they have been close since Blair’s childhood.