3-7 “Sweet Sorrow”

In the middle of season two, we met the man that could melt Jo’s steel heart. By the end of that two-part episode, Jo had decided that it was a bad idea to get married at 16 without having finished high school, and last we saw, heartbroken Eddie Brennan was catching the midnight bus back to his base in Chicago.

Though their relationship status was ambiguous at the end of that episode, it’s clear at the beginning of this episode that they’re very much still together. Eddie paces the Eastland cafeteria, waiting for Jo’s return from class.

Eddie wasn’t supposed to arrive until the next day, but he’s come earlier to surprise Jo. Tootie says that whenever Eddie comes for a visit, Jo is so happy she’s even nice to Blair. I care much less about the Jo/Blair joke than I do about the fact that the comment implies that Eddie has visited multiple times, and Facts watchers were deprived of our rightful participation in their relationship.

Mrs. Garrett comes into the cafeteria with coffee and cookies, and tells Eddie to make himself at home. Tootie and Natalie note that it wasn’t so long ago that Eddie was anything but welcome, but I’m not sure that’s entirely true. Mrs. Garrett was, rightfully, super pissed off when Jo and Eddie were going to run off and get married, but I don’t think she ever directed her ire toward Eddie in particular. Regardless, they’re all friends now.

Jo enters the cafeteria, laughing with some Leif Garrett-looking, Bates letter jacket-wearing dude. She and Eddie reunite, and yep, the chemistry is still there.

Jo notices that Eddie got another stripe, and Eddie is adorably bashful about it. Finally Jo gets around to introducing Eddie to Leif Garrett.

“This is Eddie Brennan, my boyfriend; Eddie, this is Bob Perkins, my husband.”

Jo explains that the “marriage” is part of a social studies class being conducted with Bates, thus revealing that her way of introducing Bob to Eddie was contrived for a cheap laugh. They paired together Eastland girls and Bates boys to have simulated marriages, so take a shot for heteronormativity. Their first assignment is to prepare a budget.

Have any of you ever been in an actual class that did simulated marriage projects? I’ve heard of them through pop culture, most notably this episode and a Sweet Valley High book, but I’ve never known anyone who actually did such a project. I can only imagine all the ways such a thing could go wrong. Also, I totally had this folder that Jo is carrying.

Eddie hopes that despite all the work, they’ll still be able to have a fun, relaxing weekend together. Eddie and Jo sit down at a cafeteria table with Bob, and the pissing contest begins with Eddie asking if Jo picked Bob, adding a dismissive, “It is Bob, isn’t it?” Jo explains that they were paired alphabetically by last name. Enter Blair, whining that she’s ruined because the alphabet resulted in her pairing with some turkey (her word) named Waldo Wilbur. She’d rather be married to Eddie! Ha! Blair whines that it’s not fair – even Jo got lucky!

Bob: “I think I’m the one who’s lucky. I got her.”
Eddie: “No, no no no, I’m the one who’s lucky. I got her.”
Jo: “Well, here we are. A room full of lucky people!”

Bob stands up to leave, positing that with Eddie there – “Eddie, it is Eddie, right?”

– Jo isn’t up for much homework. She’s not, and Eddie reminds her that they have tickets for the dirt bike rally tomorrow as well. But then Bob reminds her that their budget is due on Monday (I’m guessing it’s Friday now), so they agree to meet up after the dirt bike rally to do the work. Bob leaves, and Blair immediately comments that Jo lucked out with her adorable catch. Adorable? Ha! When it comes to adorable, frankly no one can compete with this.

Jo responds simply that Bob is a nice person. Eddie clearly doesn’t like Blair’s comment one bit, but, because he’s awesome, he takes the high road and says he thinks the class is a great idea, because now Jo will really be ready to be Mrs. Eddie Brennan.

I’m particularly fond of Tootie in this shot. Later in this episode we learn that Tootie just adores Eddie and Jo together, and this little moment really sets that up. It makes it all the more heartbreaking in season five when (spoiler) Tootie is the one who finds out the bad news…

The next day, Jo and Eddie return to the lounge from the dirt bike rally. Eddie gushes about the guy going around the track doing wheelies blindfolded. Jo gives a somewhat less enthusiastic review. Mrs. Garrett tells Jo that Bob called to check up on getting together to do their homework, and Eddie’s face falls. Jo says she’ll cancel, but sweet, sweet Eddie refuses to let her. He says it’s important to get her homework done, and he’ll come by tonight to take her to the arcade.

Before he goes, he tells Mrs. Garrett about the big finale at the dirt bike rally.

Eddie: “They had a guy go up a ramp and over twelve cars!”
Mrs. G: “How do they do that and not end up like applesauce?”
Eddie: “Who knows? I guess you just cross your fingers, spit, and hold on for dear life!”
Jo: “No, see, it’s like what we studied in math, you can figure it out. If the acceleration is constant, the distance traveled from rest equals one-half the acceleration times the approach time squared.”

I can’t verify that Jo’s physics is (are?) correct, but the point is taken. Seeing the reaction, Jo follows up her explanation with, “And then you cross your fingers, spit, and hold on for dear life.”

What a perfect time to transition to Jo and Bob working in the cafeteria. They’re beginning their entertainment budget, and Bob says he’s willing to put aside money for Jo’s dirt bike rallies, but only if there’s enough left over for him to take the train to the city to see Shakespeare in the Park. Jo says she’d like to see those plays too. Though the clear class value judgment is insulting, the point is made.

Blair, meanwhile, looks on approvingly, interjecting with annoying comments about how adorable they are, until Bob says, “How’s your marriage with ol’ Waldo working out?”

Savage. Jo runs off to get the classifieds so they can see what apartments are renting for, leaving poor Bob in the middle of a circle of sharks named Blair, Tootie, and Natalie. Tootie keeps talking about Jo and Eddie’s twu wuv, while Blair encourages Bob’s clear interest in Jo. Awesome Natalie takes the role of observer/situation mocker. Jo returns and the other girls keep gawking until Mrs. Garrett calls them to start preparing for dinner.

Bob says they’ll have to finish later. When Jo protests that she has plans with Eddie, Blair and Bob both remind her that the budget is due on Monday and they have barely made a dent. Jo reluctantly agrees to call Eddie and tell him she can’t make it. As a delighted Blair retreats to the kitchen, Bob tells Jo to meet him at “the pizza place” at 7. Jo asks if they’re working or eating, and Bob suggestively says, “Can’t you do both?” Ooooooh…

At the pizza place, Jo and Bob are having a fabulous time.

They joke about Jo’s appetite being a budget-buster, Bob says Jo has a great sense of humor, they share some teenage philosophy, and they both say they like working with each other. The sexual tension is palpable.

When Jo and Bob return to the cafeteria, just in case we’ve not yet gotten the point about Jo’s transformation, she says “Are you kidding, before I came here I thought literature was graffiti that was spelled right!” There’s a surprise in the lounge.

Coming home to a sleeping Eddie Brennan on my couch would be a delight for me, but it is decidedly inconvenient for Jo under these circumstances. When Jo asks him what he’s doing there, he says he wanted to make sure she got home all right. Awwww. But then he sees Bob and his ‘fro, and gets in his face. Bob says he wanted to make sure Jo got home all right. The boys piss in each other’s general direction for a while before Jo tells them both to get lost. She’ll see Bob in class on Monday and she’ll see Eddie tomorrow, and she leaves the boys to show themselves out.

Jo opens her bedroom door to a flashlight in the face. Tootie has been waiting up for Jo. She scolds Jo that it’s about time; it’s after eleven o’clock. Blair turns her lamp on and we see that she’s still wearing her goofy grin of Jo/Bob approval. It’s now that I realize that Jo and Bob can’t be a couple because “Jo Bob” sounds too hillbilly.

Natalie starts shit-stirring by stating, “You and Bob must’ve had some date.” Jo protests that it wasn’t a date, it was a working dinner (or, more accurately with her Bronx accent, “dinna”). Natalie asks if Eddie sees other people too and Tootie indignantly declares that Eddie would never cheat. Jo threatens violence, as is her wont, and Natalie and Tootie go to the kitchen for a snack.

Now alone, Blair tells Jo not to be too rough on Tootie; she just needs to get used to the idea that Jo is dating other people. Jo protests that she’s not, and angrily flips through her notebook, showing all the work they did. And also that there was pizza.

“All right,” Blair relents, “it was a working dinner.”

Jo: “Who’re you trying to kid, Blair? It was a date and you know it. We were sitting at a table with nothing between us but a pepperoni pizza. That’s a date.”
Blair: “What about all this? [Indicating Jo’s notebook]“
Jo: “All this was finished by eight o’clock. And after that we laughed, and talked, and had a great time. It was awful.”

Blair, of course is pleased as punch that Jo had a nice time with Bob and she tries to explain to Jo that it’s perfectly OK for her to have stayed out with Bob just because she was having a good time, that she doesn’t need to be in love with Bob to enjoy time with him, and that a date doesn’t have to lead to anything, even a second date. Jo says her mom calls that being fickle; Blair says her mom calls it playing the field. And although I wouldn’t take relationship advice from the original Monica Warner, by now she’s been replaced by the fabulous Marj Dusay, so it’s OK.

Jo is having none of it. She realizes that Eddie is the only boy she’s ever dated, and that’s the way she wants it. And she gets indignant, like she always does when anyone tries to suggest that she and Eddie are anything but meant to be. She slams her folder down on the table and stalks away. We never do learn why her shirt matches Tootie’s sheets.

The next day in the cafeteria, Jo looks under tables. Mrs. Garrett tells her that Bob called, and Jo doesn’t seem to care. She responds to Mrs. Garrett’s question whether she’s looking for something with, “No, I’m just lookin’ for something.” Blair flits in, prancing with joy because apparently she and her simulated husband are getting a divorce. Jo snits about some people not being able to make a commitment, and takes her search to the lounge.

Jo lost the ring that Eddie gave her in his first episode. She always wore it around her neck, and now she hasn’t been able to find it. Mrs. Garrett agrees to help her look.

Jo frets that she may have lost it at the pizza place, leading Mrs. G. to make the worst-timed small talk ever by asking Jo when she’s going to go out with Bob again. Jo says she’s not going out with him again. When Mrs. Garrett asks why she doesn’t want to, Jo sums everything up perfectly:

“I won’t ’cause I want to. That’s why I can’t. Do you understand?”

Mrs. Garrett does understand, and so do I. Teenage love is so awful. Poor Jo hasn’t yet realized that though. She tells Mrs. Garrett that she doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. With Eddie, she has what she’s wanted her whole life. She doesn’t understand why, when she really does love Eddie, she still wants to spend time with Bob. Mrs. Garrett encourages Jo to play the field, a notion which grosses Jo out because it’s “so Blair.”

Just in case we still haven’t figured it out, Mrs. Garrett exposits that Jo isn’t the same girl who zoomed in on her motorcycle last year, that she’s changing and growing and it’s perfectly all right to want to spend time with people who fulfill her new needs. Jo says that sounds selfish, and Mrs. Garret tells her she should feel perfectly OK about taking care of herself. It’s all true, but it’s so heartbreaking because we can see the writing on the wall, and the idea of a Jo/Eddie breakup is so tragic.

Mrs. G. finds the ring under the backgammon set, and Jo is relieved. Just then, Eddie shows up. Jo runs straight into his arms in tears. She explains that she thought she lost the ring, and he tells her that everything is fine now that she found it.

Mrs. Garrett makes herself scarce, and Jo whimpers that she doesn’t understand what happened; she didn’t take it off. She totally thinks it’s a sign even though she doesn’t say so. Eddie says it’s OK and then says they have to talk.

Ugh. “We have to talk.” That never means anything good.

Eddie painfully but truthfully says that every time he comes back, she’s a little bit different. Her acknowledgement that that’s true is heartbreaking. But, she says, it’s just the school and the libraries and the museums…she hilariously says she’s just been hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Eddie says they just don’t seem to understand each other anymore. Jo asks what they should do, and Eddie articulates the awful, inevitable conclusion: maybe they should see other people.

Jo asks how she’s going to make it without him, and sweet, wonderful Eddie tells her to realize that she’s been doing just fine. He assures her that it’s not goodbye forever and he’ll always be there for her. They wonder what to do about the ring. Eddie says he’ll have it paid for in two years (at $5/month), and she keeps it. They share one last kiss, and Eddie departs.

Mrs. Garrett comes back for her patented shoulder-pat comfort, and she’s apparently been eavesdropping the whole time because she seems to know exactly what’s up. Jo sobs that Eddie wouldn’t take the ring back and she can’t even look at it now, and Mrs. G. tells her that one day she will show her grandchildren the ring and fondly recall her first love. Poor Jo can do nothing but sob in Mrs. Garrett’s arms.